So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Randomize
