Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Randomize
