So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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