I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
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This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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