My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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