Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize