I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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