ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
