I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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