I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
