omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize