There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Randomize
