I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
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