I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize