the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Actions speak louder than pants.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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