sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
