I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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