It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize