OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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