I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Randomize
