I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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