Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just found puke in my bra..
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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