i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize