no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
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Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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