i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
