Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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