there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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