how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
