My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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