Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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