Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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