do herpes really smell.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
