Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
