he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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