No stitches, just platelets and will power
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
