I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
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