That's intense
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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