party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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