Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
