I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Boobs are out for the taking
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
