I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
