THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
