i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize