great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
