i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
