You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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