this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
