I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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