dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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