I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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