hotel room ftw
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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