I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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