What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
