Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
