Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Randomize
