theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
