Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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