her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize