So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
