Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
So vagazzling was a success
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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