i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
