Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize