Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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